For me, these states or energies are not only tangible, I can also 'see' them. As a child, I was surrounded by this energy every day and it was often life-threatening for me. I survived. And certainly also because I could foresee when the eruption from dark purple to bright red was imminent. But above all, I survived because I knew that the violent and abusive times of my childhood would not last. Because I could see much more than just the danger my mother posed. I saw the beauty in the souls of many people and also in my soul. As a result, I knew that the scathing abuse and put-downs I had to listen to at home had no truth in them. Intuitively, I knew that I was valuable and that my life was worthwhile.

In the darkest hours of my childhood and youth, when I had to endure violence and abuse, I left my body and concentrated on the soul level. For me, this level was and is a place in the cosmos where I am pure energy and perceive pure energy. In this place, I am free and at the same time experience a fulfilling connection with all that is. In my childhood and youth, this place gave me security and beauty above all else. It was always bright, quiet, loving and safe there. I had no home and no parents in the true sense of the word, and so the soul level became my home.

As a young child, of course, I didn't question what I saw, it came naturally to me. I could see colors around people; knew exactly how they were feeling; saw what they wanted to hide, where they were in physical pain, and had clear premonitions when someone's life was coming to an end. Communicating with animals was easy for me and I perceived all sorts of entities that others did not. Sometimes these entities would appear to me in dreams, often I would talk to them before I fell asleep and they always gave me comfort and reassurance.

As a child, I didn't know that these perceptions were intuitive perceptions and I didn't worry about them. A therapist once described me as a polar flower: "There are people who blossom even though they have grown up in an extremely hostile environment. We don't yet know why this is the case, but we do know that they are rare, but they do exist. I call people like you polar flowers."

Maybe I was or am a polar flower. I like the image, even if I now see myself more as one of the colorful flowers in the wildflower meadow of my life. I know exactly why I have "blossomed" despite more than poor starting conditions: because I have never lost access to the voice of my soul, to my intuition. I don't know how many times in my life I've had to listen to the phrase "You're just imagining things" when I've verbalized my intuitive perceptions. Countless times. It's not for nothing that most participants in intuition training struggle for months, if not years, with the insecurity that everything they perceive is just their imagination.

Ultimately, the devastating judgment "You're just imagining it" is an expression of insecurity and inability in the face of a space that we all know exists and has a great influence - while at the same time knowing that we don't have the slightest idea who we are in this space and how we can and should behave in it. But one thing is certain: we can remember how to lead an intuitive life!