About light that falls through cracks - and the art of accompanying people back to their truth
Note:
This text describes structural dynamics of deep group work from my perspective as a teacher.
It does not claim to be complete, but it does claim to be conscious.
Holding deep spaces doesn't just mean accompanying people.
It also means letting go of people.
Most people walk quietly.
A few walk loudly.
Both are part of deep processes - and both follow different inner logics.
In this article, I write about what happens in deep transformation spaces:
why people react differently to inner development, group dynamics and real change - and how you can recognize when a conflict is authentic and when it just seems like one.
An article for people who work with groups, want to work with groups or are interested in group processes - and for those who want to understand something about themselves in contact with depth.
An article
- about the price and the gift that the invitation to deep inner growth inevitably entails,
- about spiritual projection, human closeness and shadow work,
- about gratitude and ruptures,
- and how light falls through cracks.
About price and gifts
I have been holding spaces that change people for twenty-five years.
Spaces in which intuition, body, psyche and soul interact.
Spaces in which people find their way back to themselves - to their dignity, to their clarity.
There is a prize in this work.
And there are gifts.
One of the gifts is so overwhelming, so profound, so life-changing,
that no fee in the world can express what it means to me,
to accompany people into this depth.
I get countless messages like:
„Your reading from ten years ago is still with me today.“
„Working with you has a connecting and liberating effect on my children and my environment - I would never have thought that possible.“
„I wouldn't have been able to maintain this entrepreneurial phase that I'm currently going through without the training - and I've only been at it for six months.“
„I've never felt so clear before.“
„Without the intensive experiences in your rooms, I would not be the artist I am today and would not have the success I have today.“
„Without the training, I would never have dared to make this important career decision and follow this path.“
„Thank you. The fact that I was able to learn in your rooms has liberated my life.“
These people walk quietly.
With gratitude.
With dignity.
They carry the space forward - into their lives, into their relationships, into their children.
They are the majority.
They are the reason why I love this work.
But there are also others.
And the way they go - and what that does to you - that's the price.
Note:
I know that texts like this one are open to attack.
That people attribute power to me, coldness, aloofness or immunization against criticism.
I take these images seriously enough to check myself again and again -
but not serious enough to deny my experience or my perception.
Not all criticism is projection.
But not every attack is an offer of dialog.
For me, learning this distinction is part of maturity in deep work.
A soup
I am a storyteller.
So here is a little true story.
It was a beautiful afternoon, somewhere in Germany, on a trip.
Two people, two identical orders.
For this story, we call it a vegetable soup.
Her soup came first - simple, inconspicuous.
Mine arrived later - lovingly decorated, with herbs and a small vegetable ornament in a beautiful ceramic bowl.
I laughed joyfully, surprised by this little beauty of life.
„How nice,“ I said playfully,
„Did you arrange this for me? Surely you called here first so I could get this fancy thing?“
I beamed at her.
She did not laugh.
„You ordered this beforehand,“ she said, „to make you look better here.“
Still laughing, I said:
„Hm. You have this assumption - and I have mine. They are very different.
What does that say about us now?“
And then I laughed away what I had seen and even named.
Two bowls of soup.
Two completely different worlds.
I saw a gift.
She saw a settlement that was to her disadvantage.
A few weeks later, I remembered this moment.
And I understood what he had meant.
We do not react to what is happening,
but on the filter through which we perceive what is happening.
Sometimes a later break is a long time in coming.
The question is:
Are you ready to see what you see?
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen
Sometimes the light falls through a simple order.
It could fall through a bowl of soup.
Why group work is so sacred - and so demanding
In 1:1 work, people can block out a lot of things.
Also practitioners.
You can perform, adapt, avoid.
In a group, however, what really lives in us is revealed.
Group work penetrates facades, dissolves old patterns, reveals relationship skills, competition, shame, projection, displacement, shows true greatness and true boundaries.
That is why group work is more transformative than any individual work.
And that's why some people shy away from groups like open fires.
And that's why some teachers shy away from working with groups.
People don't shy away from groups because they don't want to learn.
They shy away from groups because they are afraid of encountering their own depths - and what they might find there.
People who are afraid of groups are often afraid of an encounter that they cannot control: real mirroring.
Human conflicts vs. projecting conflicts
There are conflicts that are mature, adult and connected.
People talk about themselves.
People listen to each other.
You can endure feelings - even unpleasant ones.
You apologize when you hurt someone.
You find your way back into a relationship.
These conflicts are healing. If you really go through them, the relationship becomes deeper, not weaker.
And then there are conflicts that are not conflicts, but:
- Projections
- Transfers
- Dehumanization
- old wounds looking for a stage
- identity, which only stabilizes by devaluing it.
You can recognize them by the fact that people talk about you instead of with you,
attribute motives to you that they cannot know,
make moral diagnoses,
use spiritual terms as weapons,
Seeking alliances instead of dialog,
Build up enemy images and force you into roles that have nothing to do with you -
but with their own shadow.
This is not a work in itself. It is an expression of an inner crisis that is looking for an object.
And this is exactly what happens in deep group processes.
Always.
Everywhere.
For all those who work really deeply with people.
Why projection arises - and why it is not destiny
Projection does not arise out of nothing.
It has reasons, a history, an inner logic.
When people enter deep spaces, they encounter parts that they have long avoided:
Shame, envy, powerlessness, old injuries, unintegrated power.
These inner tensions can be perceived, held and integrated.
That can be learned.
That is part of human maturation.
But not everyone is prepared to go down this path.
Projection is therefore not a sign of a lack of ability -
but often a sign of a lack of willingness.
Psychologically, this mechanism is well described.
Wilfred Bion spoke of projective identification:
inner experience is shifted to the outside so that we do not have to come into contact with it ourselves.
Otto Kernberg described the reversal of idealization into devaluation:
“The object becomes a container for projected aggression or idealization.”
The other person is being used,
so as not to have to feel something inside.
This dynamic is reinforced in leadership and teaching contexts.
Manfred Kets de Vries describes how authority figures
become projection surfaces for unlived inner conflicts:
“Leaders often become repositories for hopes and fears that have little to do with their actual behavior.”
This is not an unknown phenomenon in spiritual spaces either.
Mariana Caplan describes how idealization is almost inevitably
tilt into devaluation if personal responsibility is avoided:
“Idealization inevitably leads to disillusionment, and the teacher becomes the target of the student's unmet expectations.”
All this explains, Why projection is created.
It does not excuse them.
Maturity does not mean having no inner conflicts.
Maturity means being ready to see it.
Those who repeatedly decide not to look,
but rather to strip, devalue or destroy them,
does not take responsibility for his inner experience.
And that is not fate. It is a decision.
The 30 %
One of my teachers once said to me:
„Oh, it's normal for some students to leave in a huff. My experience has shown that it's always around thirty percent.
I used to think I had done something wrong.
Today I know that most people learn - to varying degrees.
And the thirty percent come angry and leave angry.
This has nothing to do with us.“
I have been researching these dynamics ever since. I have no choice, because they are a natural part of my everyday work. Some call it crass. I call it Wednesday.
Authority, pain and awareness
Little is said about this part of spiritual work.
It is apparently a taboo.
In spiritual spaces, authority is confused with inviolability for various reasons.
It has to do with embodiment.
Of course it hurts.
But what a teacher - what a person - I would be,
if I could not let pain flow through me?
Attacks used to hit me right in the middle of my self-esteem issue.
„Who do you think you are?“
The answer back then was: You are wrong.
This old devaluation made me vulnerable.
I reacted with false neutrality.
With silence.
With self-denial.
That is self-harm.
And I have seen it in many teachers.
The second gift
I have been following this path for twenty-five years, continuously learning.
Uncompromisingly honest with myself.
The attacks have set me free.
Not invulnerable -
but more conscious, more loving, clearer.
Every projection asked me the same question:
Who do you think you are?
Today I know my answer.
I am Alexandra.
I hold rooms.
I know my shadows.
I hold the light.
And I no longer carry other people's shadows.
I know who I am.
And that is another precious gift -
alongside all the people who walk on quietly, freely and consciously.
Why I train intuition coaches
These experiences are the reason why I train today.
Depth does not mean that everyone stays.
Depth means that everything becomes visible.
Depth does not mean that people love you.
Depth means that you remain true - even if someone flees into the attack.
Depth does not mean untouchability.
Depth means freedom from foreign shadows.
This ability is authority.
And I pass on this ability.
If you don't want to leave while reading, but want to get closer - closer to yourself, to responsibility and to embodied depth - then training to become an intuition coach is probably not in your field by chance.
The second intuition trainer training course begins in 2026.
The central question is:
Who do you think you are?
You can find all information about training here:
https://shop.alexandrasorgenicht.com/ausbildung-zum-zur-intuitionstrainerin/
