{"id":6154,"date":"2025-12-15T21:15:05","date_gmt":"2025-12-15T20:15:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/?p=6154"},"modified":"2025-12-15T21:15:06","modified_gmt":"2025-12-15T20:15:06","slug":"der-preis-und-das-geschenk-tiefer-raeume","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/2025\/12\/15\/der-preis-und-das-geschenk-tiefer-raeume\/","title":{"rendered":"The price and the gift of deep spaces"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><br><strong>About light that falls through cracks - and the art of accompanying people back to their truth<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Note:<br>This text describes structural dynamics of deep group work from my perspective as a teacher.<br>It does not claim to be complete, but it does claim to be conscious.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Holding deep spaces doesn't just mean accompanying people.<br>It also means letting go of people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people walk quietly.<br>A few walk loudly.<br>Both are part of deep processes - and both follow different inner logics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this article, I write about what happens in deep transformation spaces:<br>why people react differently to inner development, group dynamics and real change - and how you can recognize when a conflict is authentic and when it just seems like one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An article for people who work with groups, want to work with groups or are interested in group processes - and for those who want to understand something about themselves in contact with depth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>An article<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>about the price and the gift that the invitation to deep inner growth inevitably entails,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>about spiritual projection, human closeness and shadow work,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>about gratitude and ruptures,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>and how light falls through cracks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>About price and gifts<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I have been holding spaces that change people for twenty-five years.<br>Spaces in which intuition, body, psyche and soul interact.<br>Spaces in which people find their way back to themselves - to their dignity, to their clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is a prize in this work.<br>And there are gifts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the gifts is so overwhelming, so profound, so life-changing,<br>that no fee in the world can express what it means to me,<br>to accompany people into this depth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>I get countless messages like:<br><br>\u201eYour reading from ten years ago is still with me today.\u201c<br>\u201eWorking with you has a connecting and liberating effect on my children and my environment - I would never have thought that possible.\u201c<br>\u201eI wouldn't have been able to maintain this entrepreneurial phase that I'm currently going through without the training - and I've only been at it for six months.\u201c<br>\u201eI've never felt so clear before.\u201c<br>\u201eWithout the intensive experiences in your rooms, I would not be the artist I am today and would not have the success I have today.\u201c<br>\u201eWithout the training, I would never have dared to make this important career decision and follow this path.\u201c<br>\u201eThank you. The fact that I was able to learn in your rooms has liberated my life.\u201c<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><br>These people walk quietly.<br>With gratitude.<br>With dignity.<br>They carry the space forward - into their lives, into their relationships, into their children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They are the majority.<br>They are the reason why I love this work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But there are also others.<br>And the way they go - and what that does to you - that's the price.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Note:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know that texts like this one are open to attack.<br>That people attribute power to me, coldness, aloofness or immunization against criticism.<br>I take these images seriously enough to check myself again and again -<br>but not serious enough to deny my experience or my perception.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Not all criticism is projection.<br>But not every attack is an offer of dialog.<br>For me, learning this distinction is part of maturity in deep work.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>A soup<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I am a storyteller.<br>So here is a little true story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was a beautiful afternoon, somewhere in Germany, on a trip.<br>Two people, two identical orders.<br>For this story, we call it a vegetable soup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her soup came first - simple, inconspicuous.<br>Mine arrived later - lovingly decorated, with herbs and a small vegetable ornament in a beautiful ceramic bowl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I laughed joyfully, surprised by this little beauty of life.<br>\u201eHow nice,\u201c I said playfully,<br>\u201eDid you arrange this for me? Surely you called here first so I could get this fancy thing?\u201c<br>I beamed at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She did not laugh.<br>\u201eYou ordered this beforehand,\u201c she said, \u201eto make you look better here.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Still laughing, I said:<br>\u201eHm. You have this assumption - and I have mine. They are very different.<br>What does that say about us now?\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then I laughed away what I had seen and even named.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Two bowls of soup.<br>Two completely different worlds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I saw a gift.<br>She saw a settlement that was to her disadvantage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A few weeks later, I remembered this moment.<br>And I understood what he had meant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We do not react to what is happening,<br>but on the filter through which we perceive what is happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes a later break is a long time in coming.<br>The question is:<br>Are you ready to see what you see?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>There is a crack in everything.<br>That's how the light gets in.<br>- Leonard Cohen<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes the light falls through a simple order.<br>It could fall through a bowl of soup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><br><strong>Why group work is so sacred - and so demanding<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In 1:1 work, people can block out a lot of things.<br>Also practitioners.<br>You can perform, adapt, avoid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In a group, however, what really lives in us is revealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Group work penetrates facades, dissolves old patterns, reveals relationship skills, competition, shame, projection, displacement, shows true greatness and true boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That is why group work is more transformative than any individual work.<br>And that's why some people shy away from groups like open fires.<br>And that's why some teachers shy away from working with groups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People don't shy away from groups because they don't want to learn.<br>They shy away from groups because they are afraid of encountering their own depths - and what they might find there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People who are afraid of groups are often afraid of an encounter that they cannot control: real mirroring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>Human conflicts vs. projecting conflicts<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><br>There are conflicts that are mature, adult and connected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>People talk about themselves.<br>People listen to each other.<br>You can endure feelings - even unpleasant ones.<br>You apologize when you hurt someone.<br>You find your way back into a relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These conflicts are healing. If you really go through them, the relationship becomes deeper, not weaker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then there are conflicts that are not conflicts, but:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Projections<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Transfers<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Dehumanization<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>old wounds looking for a stage<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>identity, which only stabilizes by devaluing it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>You can recognize them by the fact that people talk about you instead of with you,<br>attribute motives to you that they cannot know,<br>make moral diagnoses,<br>use spiritual terms as weapons,<br>Seeking alliances instead of dialog,<br>Build up enemy images and force you into roles that have nothing to do with you -<br>but with their own shadow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is not a work in itself. It is an expression of an inner crisis that is looking for an object.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And this is exactly what happens in deep group processes.<br>Always.<br>Everywhere.<br>For all those who work really deeply with people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>Why projection arises - and why it is not destiny<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Projection does not arise out of nothing.<br>It has reasons, a history, an inner logic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When people enter deep spaces, they encounter parts that they have long avoided:<br>Shame, envy, powerlessness, old injuries, unintegrated power.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These inner tensions can be perceived, held and integrated.<br>That can be learned.<br>That is part of human maturation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But not everyone is prepared to go down this path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Projection is therefore not a sign of a lack of ability -<br>but often a sign of a lack of willingness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Psychologically, this mechanism is well described.<br>Wilfred Bion spoke of projective identification:<br>inner experience is shifted to the outside so that we do not have to come into contact with it ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Otto Kernberg described the reversal of idealization into devaluation:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cThe object becomes a container for projected aggression or idealization.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>The other person is being used,<br>so as not to have to feel something inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This dynamic is reinforced in leadership and teaching contexts.<br>Manfred Kets de Vries describes how authority figures<br>become projection surfaces for unlived inner conflicts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cLeaders often become repositories for hopes and fears that have little to do with their actual behavior.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>This is not an unknown phenomenon in spiritual spaces either.<br>Mariana Caplan describes how idealization is almost inevitably<br>tilt into devaluation if personal responsibility is avoided:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p><strong>\u201cIdealization inevitably leads to disillusionment, and the teacher becomes the target of the student's unmet expectations.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>All this explains, <strong>Why<\/strong> projection is created.<br>It does not excuse them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maturity does not mean having no inner conflicts.<br>Maturity means being ready to see it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those who repeatedly decide not to look,<br>but rather to strip, devalue or destroy them,<br>does not take responsibility for his inner experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>And that is not fate. It is a decision.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>The 30 %<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>One of my teachers once said to me: <br>\u201eOh, it's normal for some students to leave in a huff. My experience has shown that it's always around thirty percent.<br>I used to think I had done something wrong.<br>Today I know that most people learn - to varying degrees.<br>And the thirty percent come angry and leave angry.<br>This has nothing to do with us.\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have been researching these dynamics ever since. I have no choice, because they are a natural part of my everyday work. Some call it crass. I call it Wednesday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>Authority, pain and awareness<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Little is said about this part of spiritual work.<br>It is apparently a taboo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In spiritual spaces, authority is confused with inviolability for various reasons.<br>It has to do with embodiment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course it hurts.<br>But what a teacher - what a person - I would be,<br>if I could not let pain flow through me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Attacks used to hit me right in the middle of my self-esteem issue.<br>\u201eWho do you think you are?\u201c<br>The answer back then was: You are wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This old devaluation made me vulnerable.<br>I reacted with false neutrality.<br>With silence.<br>With self-denial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That is self-harm.<br>And I have seen it in many teachers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>The second gift<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I have been following this path for twenty-five years, continuously learning.<br>Uncompromisingly honest with myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The attacks have set me free.<br>Not invulnerable -<br>but more conscious, more loving, clearer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every projection asked me the same question:<br>Who do you think you are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Today I know my answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am Alexandra.<br>I hold rooms.<br>I know my shadows.<br>I hold the light.<br>And I no longer carry other people's shadows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know who I am.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that is another precious gift -<br>alongside all the people who walk on quietly, freely and consciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><br><strong>Why I train intuition coaches<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>These experiences are the reason why I train today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Depth does not mean that everyone stays.<br>Depth means that everything becomes visible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Depth does not mean that people love you.<br>Depth means that you remain true - even if someone flees into the attack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Depth does not mean untouchability.<br>Depth means freedom from foreign shadows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This ability is authority.<br>And I pass on this ability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you don't want to leave while reading, but want to get closer - closer to yourself, to responsibility and to embodied depth - then training to become an intuition coach is probably not in your field by chance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The second intuition trainer training course begins in 2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The central question is:<br>Who do you think you are?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can find all information about training here:<br><a href=\"https:\/\/shop.alexandrasorgenicht.com\/ausbildung-zum-zur-intuitionstrainerin\/\">https:\/\/shop.alexandrasorgenicht.com\/ausbildung-zum-zur-intuitionstrainerin\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>About light that falls through cracks - and the art of accompanying people back to their truth.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5730,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6154","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6154"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6154\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6154"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6154"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alexandrasorgenicht.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}